Wellbeing editor, best-selling author and educational therapist Local Mum Kathryn Lovewell shares her tips about the best ways to stay sane and happy as a mum
3) Mother’s Day isn’t always breakfast in bed
Sometimes it’s cold toast and spilt juice.
Sometimes it’s door slams, eye rolls and “You’re so embarrassing.”
Sometimes it’s silence… and an empty chair where your child used to sit.
If you’re a mum feeling unseen, overwhelmed, or just done - this one’s for you.
Because while the cards and flowers are lovely (when they come), they barely scratch the surface of what motherhood really looks like.
It’s wiping tears at 3am while Googling symptoms.
It’s doing five things at once - while being judged for not doing six.
It’s knowing your child is struggling and carrying the weight of not knowing how to fix it.
It’s loving so deeply it aches… and still wondering if you’re getting it all wrong.
And when they’re older?
It’s watching them pull away, becoming strangers in your own home.
Or hearing “I’ve just been so busy” when they haven’t called in weeks.
It’s smiling when they post a tribute to some celebrity mum online - but forget to text you.
It’s forgiving them anyway.
Because here’s the truth no one says out loud:
Being a mum is often thankless. But you do it anyway.
It’s relentless.
But you show up again.
It’s messy.
But you still manage to create beauty.
And in case no one tells you today:
You are remarkable.
So, this Mother’s Day, a quiet invitation...
Before you tend to everyone else, take five minutes just for you.
Not to fix, or plan, or give - but to pause.
To breathe.
To feel what you’re holding.
And maybe - just maybe - to offer yourself a little of the compassion you so freely give to everyone else.
Because if there’s one person who deserves your kindness today… it’s you.
A gentle act of Self-Care
Mother’s Day is the one day we secretly (or not-so-secretly) hope to be seen.
Maybe even fussed over… just a little.
A card. A cuppa. A moment of thanks. Even a celebration!
But whether that happens or not, you can still choose to care for yourself - with the same qualities you pour into everyone else:
Patience.
Kindness.
Warmth.
Forgiveness.
Joy.
I recorded a special Mother’s Day meditation for our Circles of Practice community, and I’d love to share it with you too:
It’s a gentle opportunity to return to yourself.
To receive the love you so often give.
To breathe, to soften, to reconnect.
Click here to listen to the Mother’s Day Meditation
(Feel free to save it and return whenever you need a moment of calm.)
Because you deserve it - not just today, but every day.
With warmth and deep respect,
Kathryn x
Fellow mum. Forever advocate of messy, magnificent motherhood.
Kathryn Lovewell
Wellbeing Mum
2) Children’s Wellbeing in Crisis: Why mums need to start with themselves
Children’s wellbeing in the UK is in crisis. Young people here report the lowest life satisfaction in Europe, and the latest PISA data (2022) ranks the UK 70th out of 73 countries for young people's wellbeing. These aren’t just statistics—they’re a national wake-up call.
Anxiety, depression, and stress-related issues are on the rise among our children, and it’s no wonder. They are growing up in a world of relentless pressure—academic demands, social media scrutiny, and an uncertain future. They are struggling. And as mums, we feel that struggle deeply.
The emotional burden on mums
We are raising children in an age of overwhelming advice. Every expert, every article, every well-meaning social media post tells us what we should be doing. Be firm but gentle. Set boundaries but be flexible. Prioritise their mental health but don’t be too soft. The conflicting messages are exhausting.
And at the heart of it all, we carry the weight of an unspoken fear: What if I get it wrong? What if my mistakes cost my child their happiness?
This pressure is crushing. It creates a cycle of self-doubt, guilt, and burnout. We try harder, read more, do more—but often at the expense of our own mental and emotional wellbeing. And when we are running on empty, it shows.
When mums struggle, kids struggle
I’ve seen this in my own life. The more I prioritised my own wellbeing—mentally, emotionally, and physically—the better equipped I was to support my children. The more I looked after me, the more present, patient, and resilient I became.
It took me a long time to realise this, but here’s the truth: Our children don’t need perfect mums. They need mums who are well.
What can we do?
1. Start with Self-Compassion
The way we speak to ourselves matters. Self-criticism fuels stress and exhaustion. Instead, we need to cultivate self-compassion—treating ourselves with the same kindness we would offer a friend. When we are kinder to ourselves, we model to our children how to handle failure, stress, and emotions with self-acceptance rather than self-judgment.
2. Prioritise self-care without guilt
Self-care is not selfish. It’s not an indulgence. It’s essential. When we take time to recharge, we become better parents. Whether it’s a walk, a bath, journaling, or just five deep breaths—small acts of self-care help build resilience.
3. Set boundaries that protect your energy
We teach our children how to set boundaries by demonstrating them ourselves. Saying no when we need to. Protecting our time. Limiting exposure to things that drain us. When we respect our own needs, we show our children how to respect theirs.
4. Regulate yourself first
Children learn how to manage their emotions by watching how we manage ours. When we respond rather than react, when we stay calm even in chaos, we teach them emotional resilience. It’s not about never getting frustrated—it’s about showing them how to handle frustration with self-awareness.
5. Be fully present
Our kids don’t need more from us. They need us. Fully present. Not distracted. Not worrying about the next thing. Just here. That doesn’t mean we have to be available 24/7. It means that when we are with them, we are truly with them.
It starts with us
The wellbeing crisis among children is real. But if we want to help them, we have to start with ourselves.
By prioritising our own mental and emotional health, we don’t just become better mums—we create an environment where our children feel safe, supported, and emotionally secure.
We don’t have to have all the answers. We just have to be the adults in the room when our kids need us most. And that starts with being well for them.
With kindness and warmth,
Kathryn Lovewell
Wellbeing Mum
1) My journey to self-compassion and The Booster Way
Hello, lovely mums! I’m Kathryn Lovewell and I’m delighted to be reconnecting with Local Mums - a community I hold close to my heart.
Some of you may remember me as one of the founding bloggers for Local Mums Online, where I shared my passion for wellbeing in schools, supporting students and teachers.
My journey in wellbeing led me to a life-changing discovery—one that has transformed not just how I work, but how I live, love, and parent. It’s called Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC), and it’s the key to something we mums desperately need… genuine happiness that doesn’t depend on getting it all right.
I first met the amazing Kathy McGuinness, founder of Local Mums Online, when we both received awards at the London Borough of Sutton Community Awards in 2013. That night was about celebrating the difference we’re making in our community - but more importantly, it was about connection. The truth is, we mums need community. We need a space where we can be real, where we can drop the guilt, the pressure, and the impossible standards we set for ourselves.
But let me take you back to my early days as a mum…
When my boys were little, I had a harmful story running in my head - a story filled with self-judgement, guilt, and an overwhelming sense of “not good enough”.
- My boys didn’t sleep through the night until they were four. I believed I was failing.
- My youngest was chronically ill, and I couldn’t make him better. I believed I was failing.
- My eldest would refuse to eat the meals I lovingly cooked. I believed I was failing.
- And asking for help? Admitting I was struggling? Not a chance. I simply put on my “I’m fine” mask and soldiered on.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Back then, I didn’t know what self-compassion was. If I had, I would have understood that motherhood isn’t about perfection—it’s about kindness. Not just kindness to our children, but to ourselves.
Mindful Self-Compassion isn’t some magical, fluffy concept. It’s a science-backed, practical skill that allows us to meet life’s struggles with warmth instead of criticism. It doesn’t “fix” our problems - it changes how we respond to them. It helps us hold the tough stuff with care instead of beating ourselves up.
Self-Compassion has changed the way I listen to my sons, the way I show up for myself, and most importantly, the way I allow myself to be fully human.
This journey has led me to write a book that I wish I’d had for my own children (and for “Little Kathryn”) - The Voices in My Head! A book about self-compassion for children aged 5-10, designed to help them recognise their inner voices - the kind one (Booster) and the mean one (Crusher) – and to help them choose kindness when things get tough.
But it didn’t stop there.
I realised that self-compassion isn’t just for children—it’s for the whole family. So, I created The Booster Way for Families, a practical toolkit with tonnes of resources, designed to empower children and families to respond to difficulty with compassion and kindness. It provides a unifying language for families to navigate life’s inevitable struggles - together.
Because, let’s be honest, parenting is hard. Life is messy. But we don’t have to do it alone, and we certainly don’t have to do it with a harsh, critical voice running the show.
I wish I had a community like Local Mums when my boys were little. I wish I had a kind voice in my head, reminding me that I wasn’t alone, that I was doing enough, that I was already a good mum - even on the days when everything felt like a disaster.
So, this is me, reaching out my compassionate hand to you. I’m here to share what I’ve learned, to help you cultivate a kinder inner voice, to remind you that you are enough - just as you are.
Let’s be compassionate, messy humans together. Let’s build a community where we support each other - not just with advice and tips, but with real kindness.
With kindness and warmth,
Kathryn Lovewell
Wellbeing Mum
Kathryn's previous Local Mums’ blogs:
LBS Community Leadership Awards
On Thursday evening, the 28th February, I found myself mingling with some of Sutton’s most inspirational community leaders. I was delighted to find myself standing alongside the lovely Kathy, who has created an awesome support network for us local mums and another most amazing lady, Pat Fletcher - an 85 year old street pastor who helps young people in distress in the wee hours.
It was a great evening and I was honoured to win the prestigious “Improving People’s Lives” category. I have worked tirelessly teaching young people in schools and Young offender institutes. I have taught stress management, Mindfulness meditation and emotional resilience to men in prison, teachers, Head Teachers and individuals to help make their lives meaningful, fulfilling and happy. It was a genuine treat to be recognised for the efforts I have made over the years, but ultimately it is the love that I have poured into my work and offered my clients that matters most to me.
I am thrilled to be sharing this fantastic joint achievement with a great bunch of women, who in my eyes do the hardest and most rewarding job in the world – being mums.
Let's big it up for Kathy! Congratulations xxx
Valentine's Challenge
As Valentine's Day fast approaches, we are already consumed by Valentine mania. Now don’t get me wrong, I love Valentine’s Day! It’s such a fabulous focus - Love! Sadly it’s soooooo commercial, the true meaning of Valentine’s Day is often lost or forgotten.
Did you know that St. Valentine's Day began as a liturgical celebration of one or more early Christian saints named Valentinus? The most popular martyrology associated with Saint Valentine was that he was imprisoned for performing weddings for soldiers who were forbidden to marry and for ministering to Christians, who were persecuted under the Roman Empire. During his imprisonment, he is said to have healed the daughter of his jailer Asterius. Legend states that before his execution he wrote "from your Valentine" as a farewell to her.
How romantic is that! And so my invitation is to embrace this depth of love and passion on Valentine’s Day. Even if you think you’re too tired to celebrate, even if your partner is anti the whole malarkey, even if you can’t afford to go out or just can’t be doing with the crowds – give yourself a treat. Start by getting a babysitter (if you have littlies) and set the scene for your partner that “special time” is the order of the day!
Consider what you would love and then ask for that. If that’s too much of a leap, then create what you’d love! It can be as simple as candlelit dinner and no TV – just togetherness. You can play the love and appreciation game. Take it in turns to say: “What I love about you is….”
(You can do this with your children too to raise the loving vibration in your home. It works a treat!) If your partner is away or working late, stop all chores and create some special “me time”. Have a bubble bath & relax!
I believe it is vital for our emotional health and esteem to have our “love tanks” regularly filled up. This can be exceedingly difficult if we are up to our necks in family demands and household chores. Step back, and give yourself the time and love you deserve. There is only one of you! You are unique and precious. Let Valentine remind you how wonderful you are - hair, face & nails done or not!
Let it start with you! Give yourself the love, time and respect and others (including your children) will support you in your desire for some TLC, pampering and best of all some romance! Go on, invite cupid back into your life!
For your chance to win the cd companion to my book, Every Teacher Matters simply “Like” my face book page Every Teacher Matters. It has guided meditations and creative visualisations that will help you relax, stay calm, help clear your mind and ensure you sleep like a puppy! Just click here!
Be kind to yourself
As we draw a close to the first month of the year, how many of you are busy berating yourself for not keeping your New Year’s Resolutions? I deliberately chose not to discuss NY resolutions at the beginning of the year as statistically psychology research shows that resolutions can often do more harm than good – leaving people feeling like a failure.
If you chose to make a resolution and have “broken” it already – fret not. You are not alone. A 2007 study by Richard Wiseman from the University of Bristol involving 3,000 people showed that 88% of those who set New Year resolutions fail, despite the fact that 52% of the study's participants were confident of success at the beginning. What’s interesting is women succeeded 10% more when they made their goals public and got support from their friends. (Wall Street Journal)
So my top tip for today and the rest of your magical year is to be kind to yourself – let that be your number one resolution! If you are having a tough day – if you have eaten that biscuit (or ten) when you promised yourself you would be sugar free – go easy on yourself. You wouldn’t incessantly berate your kids if they made a mistake or let themselves down would you?
In times of challenge or stress ask yourself:
“What’s the kindest thing I can do for myself right now?
Be gentle, be patient, be kind – just as you would if your son or daughter was struggling or troubled. You have a heart of gold – you’re the first one there if a friend is in need, so be that friend to yourself today and every day. Give yourself the compassion you give your loved ones.
Take good care x
Happy New Year
Well it’s still January, so I feel I can squeeze in a belated good wish for a magical New Year! I’ve spent much of this month in reflection - not something I would ordinarily do as I embrace New Year’s Resolutions! This January I’ve spent time looking back and reflecting on last year – what I loved, what I struggled with and what my pervading experience was throughout the year. This has been enormously helpful. It has brought my lop-sided perspective back into balance.
How might taking time to reflect on the past enable you to embrace a healthier future? I’m not talking about striving for external goals – losing weight, getting fit finding the dream job. I’m talking about feeling content, feeling fulfilled; developing a stronger more nourishing relationship with yourself and your family.
What is important to you really? What are your highest values? As January draws to a close, take a gentle look back – maybe just at January, maybe at the whole of last year and notice what has brought you happiness and what has not. Examine what you can change and what you cannot. The Serenity Prayer springs to mind...
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference”
As a mum, this will help you to love who you are, love and accept where you are and guide you to where you would love to be.
Have a fabulous year!
Kathryn x
Festive Road Rage
As the big day draws ever closer and the weather brews ever colder tempers often flare – especially in the car. A spontaneous visit to a friend tonight brought with it several close shaves in the car and soon after I witnessed some serious road rage. A gentle reminder today to give yourself just that little bit more time if you are out on the roads. If you are feeling pressured and maybe a little fraught the last thing you’ll want is to have to rush anyway, especially when driving.
Top well-being tip for the day is take your time! Take a breath before you get in the car. Bring yourself to a place of calm by breathing deeply before you start the engine and maybe listen to some tranquil music as you drive. If you take a proactive approach to being calm when driving, you will better cope with those unexpected pedestrians, speeding lads and dreaded traffic jams.
Visualise clear passage and see you and your family arriving safely at your destination. Breathe in deeply and on the out SMILE! Make it a big cheesy grin and make yourself chuckle! The “Breathe and smile” technique will make a profound difference to your driving experience. Take care. Be safe x
Working Mums
If you’re a working mum then you’ll likely be chasing your tail during the lead up to Christmas; extra stuff to do at home and pressure to tie up loose ends at work before the Christmas break. Juggling the needs of your family and the demands of work can send a sane and organised girl right to the edge. And if we’re not careful – right over the edge!
My boys are at the age where they have independent activities after school and often need feeding at different times and need to be in different places at different times too. Their schedules are different; they attend different schools and their after school commitments also differ. Simultaneously I have my clients to attend to – stress and well-being is a 365 day a year issue. Is it any wonder working mums can find themselves spinning in ever decreasing circles!!
Top tip for working mums is to create a supportive underlying structure. There’s lots of structures you can create, including practical help from friends and family. Here’s one the kids (almost any age) but especially great for teens - can help you with. Make a list of household jobs that need to be done; everyday stuff that’s not particularly hard, just time consuming. Assign each task to a family member. It may feel like it generates extra work at first, as you show them exactly what you want and how you want it done – however once you’ve laid the foundations it will support you long term and help develop your children’s skill base too!
We have a blitz every Wednesday morning before school to keep on top of things. Stairs get hoovered, bath gets cleaned, dishwasher emptied, recycling put out etc etc. I won’t pretend it’s warmly welcomed however there is no discussion. I need help and this way family members are more likely to appreciate your efforts! Always good ;0)
Managing Time at Christmas
Time can often feel like your enemy in the lead up to Christmas - so much to do and not enough time. School activities, social nights, family gatherings, cards, pressies and of course the dreaded shopping!
With the list of things to do growing ever longer every day, how on earth do you stay calm and relaxed? It’s easy. You give yourself time first! You’ve heard the flight attendant say “in an emergency, put your oxygen mask on first, and then attend to your dependents. It’s no different. Give yourself time to gather your thoughts and organise your day.
Each morning (or if you have trouble going to sleep because your head is swimming with things you must get done – each evening) write your “to-do” list. Now I’ve always struggled withprioritising, so here’s a great top tip to manage the mayhem. It’s inspired from Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
Fold an A4 piece of paper into 4. Label each box.
1.Top left hand box: URGENT & IMPORTANT.
2.Top right hand box: IMPORTANT, NOT URGENT.
3.Bottom left hand box: URGENT, NOT IMPORTANT.
4.Bottom right hand box: NOT URGENT, NOT IMPORTANT.
Instantly you’ll be able to breathe as you assigneach “to-do” in the appropriate box. Now you may think box 1 is the box you must prioritise –short term it is but with practice you will hopefully have more entries in box 2 (than box 1) and that will be your focus. This way, the urgency is removed – which generates the stress and you will be ahead of the game. This is the best case scenario. There are always unexpected things that show up and must be dealt with there and then which can throw your day and more often than not things take longer than you’d hope. Just give yourself permission to breathe and be human! One day at a time, one task at a time, one moment at a time.
Breathing space at Christmas
Christmas is a magical time! Time for family, friends and special treats. Christmas can also be a very stressful time. As a mum, it is often left to you to create this magic and to ensure everything runs smoothly. The challenge is to meet the needs and desires of your loved ones without sacrificing yours. More importantly, it is vital that you take care of yourself in the lead up to Christmas so that you too can enjoy the festivities and remain fit and well.
Mums are notorious for putting their needs last. Christmas is no exception. Here are some top tips to take care of yourself during this fun-filled time of activities and social mayhem!
Create space in your diary. Impossible you say! It is imperative that you give yourself some breathing space in your day to ensure you can sustain your great parenting during the silly season. Carve out at least one hour (okay half an hour) for yourself. Stop and rest. Give yourself some headspace. Sit down. Be quiet. If your kids are at home, plug them into an independent activity that they don’t need you for (yes the TV is allowed) and give yourself some loving attention.
Rest. Relax. Breathe deeply. As you inhale, imagine breathing in qualities you feel might help you; feeling calm, patient, kind, relaxed. As you exhale imagine all the tension and frustration leaving your body. Keep breathing deeply in and out. If your mind is bursting with “stuff” that has to get done, give your mind a job to do and simply count your breath. Breathe in for 7, hold for 7 andbreathe out for 7. This will slow down your heart rate, increase happy hormones and give you a sense of well-being.
Do this every day – even if it’s for 5 minutes and you will feel stronger, clearer and more energised to embrace the Christmas chaos. Good luck!
Kathryn Lovewell is a best-selling author, award-winning international speaker, and the founder of Kind Mind Academy, specialising in Mindful Self-Compassion for women, families, and educators. As a senior certified MSC teacher and qualified Awakening Joy Teacher, Kathryn has spent over 10 years helping women develop emotional resilience, self-compassion, and well-being, while personally living the Ten Steps to Happiness.
Kathryn knows the power of self-compassion firsthand. From a young age, she battled a fierce inner critic - one that followed her into adulthood. Determined to break the cycle, she dedicated her life to understanding the mind/body connection, especially unhelpful patterns of thought, negative core beliefs and reactive behaviours.
Her mission is to alleviate suffering for children and families, ensuring that young minds grow up with a kind, supportive inner voice. She believes that when children learn self-compassion early, they carry it into adulthood, shaping how they parent, lead, and navigate life’s challenges.
Since 2007 she has developed and delivered emotional well-being programmes in schools, prisons, and community settings across the UK, USA, and Australia, transforming the lives of children, parents, and educators alike. She continues to pioneer self-compassion and well-being programmes, empowering people to embrace self-kindness and resilience in everyday life. She is the author of The Little Book of Self-Compassion, The Voices in My Head! and Every Teacher Matters - books designed to nurture emotional well-being and self-kindness.
A sought-after speaker, Kathryn has presented at The Mindful Living Show, University College London, The Positive Education Schools Association, The Museum of Happiness, and more. She also serves as the Ambassador for the Global Compassion Coalition’s “Compassion Champions” Gathering and is a founding volunteer meditation teacher for The Centre for Mindful Self-Compassion’s Global Circles of Practice.
Kathryn’s mission is to bring Self-Compassion into the heart of family life, empowering mums and children to love, respect, and care for themselves - even when they struggle or fail. Because when we, as mothers, model self-compassion, we give the next generation a foundation of kindness that lasts a lifetime.