Coaching Mum

Samantha Dholakia, Local Mum and the founder of SPD Tuition and Coaching, is blogging for us about all things coaching 


‘Oh snap’ parenting

 'You’re not listening! What’s wrong now? Why are you doing that?

Mamas, at some point we’ve heard ourselves say these things!

And despite the best wills in the world, the fact is that ‘losing your temper’ is down to science.

So, why do we ‘snap,’ and how can we make change?

Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell you to take a bath or go for a run, although these are useful there’s more to it!

The reason we ‘snap’ is both innate and ingrained! As human beings we are fundamentally built to survive and we snap because we are pulled too tight and are often in survival mode.

Managed by the chimp, the lizard, or more scientifically, the Amygdala, this part of the brain is constantly deciding what to fear.


It only takes one person to make a change so this is why it always starts with us. So let’s look at how we can do that!

Our amygdalas are ‘set off’ through big emotions such as stress, anxiety, anger, frustration, sadness and overwhelm. To start to change our ‘Oh snap’ parenting habitats we first need to understand that without this knowledge, and the tools to make change, our behaviors are subconscious.

It is our nervous system reacting to stress and emotion... and this is the same in our children! Unfortunately, children rely heavily on this part of the brain until around the age of 10 when the ‘logical thinking’ part of the brain, known as the prefrontal cortex, starts to develop, preventing them from managing their own emotions.

Did you know that all emotions come from the thoughts we practice?

Oh yes, it is true! All emotions come from our practiced thoughts - so here’s how we OVERRIDE our brains and make sustainable change.

1.Being aware of what we’re practicing without judging it. Noticing what is there forms the foundation to any change.

2. Choosing one change to practice. Taking on too many changes is overwhelming and causes our brains to retreat.

3. Aiming for progress not perfection. Talking about the changes we want to make supports our momentum.

For anyone experiencing these ‘snap’ moments, wanting to make a change, do email us at for more information.

How to talk to your kids effectively

Tired of repeating yourself?

Struggling to keep your cool?

Want some strategies to ease the strain of parent life?

You are not alone!

So many of the parents I work with came to us for exactly the same reasons... because good parenting is hard work and can wear you out and grind you down!

If we are not worrying about their safety, their development or their learning, we are battling challenges such as food refusal, emotional meltdowns and sleep deprivation. All of which impacts us not only as parents but in all of our roles!

Perhaps you are you hearing 'NO' a lot?

Or are they requesting one parent over the other at specific times?

All parenting challenges are:

Natural and not personal

Due to an increased desire for independence and control

Part of them understanding, challenging and exploring the world.

My top tips to supporting and empowering our children:

Be clear and compassionate

Children need to hear what is happening step by step. Being clear about what will be happening next is a great way to support them.

Allow them to make choices during routines.

Offering other options such as which story to read, which pjs to wear helps them feel in control and empowered.

Acknowledge and comfort

Standing by your words is important, but showing understanding is even more important! Recognising emotions, talking them through what is happening to give them a safe space, using cuddles and humour to support them.

If you would like more support in how best to talk to your toddlers, teens in betweens with challenges such as bedtime routines, balancing behaviour, effective communication or supporting them in their learning, you can now book your space on my 'Talking to Toddlers and Beyond' session - Live support session on 6th, 23rd and 30th June, at 8pm. OR Download our pre-recorded parent support session to watch in your own time.

For more information email us at

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Samantha Dholakia
Founder, Coach, Consultant, Trainer
SPD Tuition And Coaching
Tel: 07884271025

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